I’ve become a very negative person.
“This is a really bad habit…” “How many calories does this have?!” “This winter is going to be awful!” “They saw my message and didn’t answer! NO ONE LIKES ME.” (That Facebook “seen [time]” thing is bad for the self-esteem.)
I don’t know where all the negativity came from. Growing up, probably. I’ve always had a habit of overthinking things, and sometimes thinking a lot is useful, but mostly it drains the life out of you. Yet how does one stop? I’ll end up overthinking how to stop overthinking. This cycle is horrible.
I wish I could go tell 30-something Mariella to not overthink or life will pass her by. Half the things she’ll stress over won’t be problems. Half the things 15-year-old Mariella stressed over weren’t problems. Nothing is worth taking away our trust in God’s plan.
Nothing.
But 19-year-old Mariella isn’t any better. I have to work on it.
So I doodled in my journal. It’s my Bitstrips cartoon, because if I tried to go for realism, I’d shadow so much that she might not look like a person. (Again, overthinking.) I want me in 10 years to not worry so much. I know, easier said than done–but it’s still true.
If you could tell your future self anything, what would it be? Who knows–they might really need to hear it.
P.S. I realize some things are problems. When drawing the cartoon, I was thinking of those problems that are only urgent in our heads.
Filed under: Drawing, Journal, Sketches Tagged: art, bitstrips, drawing, facebook, self esteem, the future, worry